The following is a personal testimony based on a true story. All names, locations, and other identifying information have been changed to ensure the safety and privacy of the individuals involved.
I was seven years old when it started, in grade two. Too young to understand what I was doing. Too ashamed to tell anyone.
I didn’t even know it was called masturbation until I reached high school. But by then, the habit had grown roots so deep that I felt like I’d never break free.
My name is Sam, and I lived a double life for years. On Sunday mornings, I sang in the church choir. During the week, I battled a secret addiction that was slowly destroying me from the inside out. I perfected the art of appearing fine while drowning in shame. I became a master at lying—not just to others, but to myself.
Every time I’d fall back into the cycle, I’d promise myself it would be the last time. I tried cold showers. I threw myself into house chores. I asked pastors to pray for me without telling them what I was really struggling with. Nothing worked. The urge to masturbate would return, sometimes after months of victory, and I’d spiral back into the same destructive pattern.
I thought I was alone. I thought I was the only church girl battling this secret. I was wrong.
If you’ve clicked on this article searching for answers on how to overcome masturbation, I want you to know something: you’re not alone, and freedom is possible. Not the temporary relief that lasts a few weeks. Real, lasting freedom that transforms everything.
This is my story. And it might just be the beginning of yours.
Key Takeaways
- Masturbation addiction starts with what you consume. Media, music, and pornographic material create mental pathways that trigger the desire to masturbate.
- Self-help strategies alone don’t work. Cold showers, distraction techniques, and willpower eventually fail without addressing the root issue.
- The mind must be renewed. God’s Word is the most powerful tool to break the habit and regain control over compulsive sexual behavior.
- Environment matters. Your friends, entertainment choices, and daily activities either support freedom or feed the addiction.
- Deliverance without discipleship leads to relapse. An empty vessel will be filled with something—make sure it’s truth, not temptation.
- You need community. Connecting with others, seeking support from a mental health professional or counselor, and staying under spiritual covering are essential.
- Freedom is a journey, not an event. Sustainable victory comes through consistent practical steps, not one-time prayers.
The Seeds Are Planted Early: How Media Shaped My Struggle
Looking back, I realize the seeds of my addiction were planted long before I ever acted on them.
I was a curious kid with unrestricted access to television. My parents worked, and when I came home from school, the TV became my companion. There was this one music channel that played 24/7. The videos weren’t porn, but they were sexual. Very sexual.
I watched a famous singer—one that everyone loved—move her body in ways that awakened something inside me. The lyrics were explicit. The choreography was seductive. And I was downloading it all into my young mind like data onto a blank hard drive.
Music and movies are spiritual. We don’t take that seriously enough.
What I consumed through my eyes began to shape my thoughts. Those thoughts created desires. Those desires eventually led to actions. By the time I was in grade two, I had already begun acting out what I’d seen, using my imagination to fill in the gaps.
Masturbation is a normal part of human sexuality, some would say. But what I was experiencing wasn’t normal exploration—it was compulsive sexual behavior that I couldn’t control, rooted in exposure to content I should never have seen as a child.
The Bible warns us about this in Luke 11:34:
“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness.”
My eyes were downloading darkness. And my whole body was filled with it.
The Teenage Years: When Addiction Takes Root
By the time I reached high school, I finally learned what my secret habit was called. And to my shock, I discovered I wasn’t alone.
My classmates talked about masturbation casually, like it was no big deal. “It’s natural,” they said. “At least you won’t get pregnant. At least you won’t get AIDS. Plus, you’ll gain experience for when you get married.”
The lies sounded so convincing.
The culture around me normalized what I was doing. The church stayed silent. Sex education came from movies and music videos, not from parents or pastors. So I kept going, thinking maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.
But deep down, I knew better.
The guilt was crushing. My self-worth plummeted. My academic performance suffered because frequent masturbation and pornography watching clouded my ability to focus. I couldn’t control my thoughts. I couldn’t concentrate on my studies. The compulsive behavior was interfering with every area of my life.
What started as masturbation eventually progressed to fornication. The fantasy wasn’t enough anymore. I wanted the real thing. So I found boyfriends who would feed the hunger that pornographic material and my imagination had created.
I was living a lie. A perfect lie. No one knew. Not my parents. Not my church. Not my friends.
Proverbs 23:7 became my reality:
“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
I was thinking about sex constantly. And so that’s what I became—someone addicted to sexual thoughts, trapped in a cycle I couldn’t escape.
The Failed Solutions: Why Self-Help Doesn’t Work
I tried everything to stop masturbating.
When the temptation to masturbate hit, I’d jump into a cold shower, thinking the shock would kill the arousal. It didn’t. The urge would come back an hour later, stronger than before.
I’d busy myself with house chores, scrubbing floors and washing dishes until I was exhausted. But after I finished and sat down to relax, the sexual thoughts would creep back in.
I asked pastors to pray for me, too embarrassed to tell them what I was really struggling with. They’d pray generically for “deliverance,” and I’d leave feeling temporarily hopeful. But within days—sometimes hours—I’d fall back into the same pattern.
These are common coping strategies, and they’re not necessarily bad. Exercise, therapy, and prayer all have their place. But they weren’t addressing the underlying problem: my mind hadn’t been renewed, and my environment hadn’t changed.
Here’s what I learned: You cannot overcome masturbation through willpower alone. Compulsive masturbation isn’t just a behavioral addiction—it’s a spiritual battle that requires spiritual weapons.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 says it clearly:
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”
I needed to bring my thoughts into captivity. But I didn’t know how.
The Turning Point: How I Finally Found Freedom
I’ll never forget the night everything changed.
It was around midnight. I couldn’t sleep, so I turned on the TV and stumbled onto a revival service called “77 Days of Glory.” I’d watched these services before, but this night was different.
A woman came forward to testify. She was a prostitute, tired of her lifestyle, desperate for change. The pastor prayed for her, and then he did something unexpected.
He invited anyone struggling with sexual perversion to come forward.
Half the church went to the altar.
People were confessing pornography addiction, fornication, adultery, even incest. I watched in shock. These were regular church people—people my age, people older than me—all struggling with the same secret shame I carried.
The pastor led them through a prayer of renunciation. He told them to touch their chests and declare that their bodies were temples of the Holy Spirit, and that sexual sin no longer had authority over them.
Then he said something that pierced my heart: “Even those of you watching on TV—if you don’t use this opportunity right now, the devil is going to disturb you for the rest of your life.”
I stood up from the couch, walked to the TV screen, and placed my hand on it.
“God,” I prayed through tears, “if You don’t deliver me from this, You’re going to shame Your name. You’re the only one I have. Please set me free.”
I didn’t throw myself on the floor. Demons didn’t manifest out of me. All I had was my faith.
Hebrews 11:6 became real to me that night:
“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”
I went to bed that night not feeling particularly different. But something had shifted in the spiritual realm.
The Seven-Month Journey to Realized Freedom
Here’s the part that surprised me: I didn’t immediately realize I was free.
It took seven months before I looked back and thought, “Wait… when was the last time I struggled with this?”
The urge to masturbate had quietly disappeared. The compulsive thoughts that used to dominate my mind were gone. I could watch a movie without being triggered. I could be alone without feeling tempted.
But this freedom didn’t happen in a vacuum.
During those seven months, I made intentional changes:
1. I filled my mind with God’s Word daily
I started watching Joyce Meyer’s teachings every morning. She spoke practically about living the Christian life, and her transparency about her own struggles gave me hope.
I didn’t just read the Bible—I studied it. I wrote down scriptures about sexual purity, self-control, and the power of the Holy Spirit. I memorized verses and repeated them when sexual thoughts tried to return.
Romans 12:2 became my anthem:
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
2. I changed my environment
I cut off secular music completely. Not out of legalism, but because I recognized that certain songs may trigger arousal and sexual thoughts.
I became selective about movies. If a film had explicit sexual content, I turned it off. I’d rather miss out on popular entertainment than feed the addiction I was trying to break.
I distanced myself from friends who normalized sexual sin. 1 Corinthians 15:33 is true:
“Bad company corrupts good character.”
3. I stayed connected to church
Some people want to stop masturbating but try to do it alone, avoiding church because of shame. I learned that isolation is dangerous. Being under spiritual covering and connecting with others who were pursuing holiness kept me accountable and encouraged.
4. I prayed with specificity
Instead of vague prayers like “God help me be better,” I prayed, “Lord, remove anyone from my life who doesn’t honor You. Give me a distaste for things that displease You. Help redirect my thoughts when they wander.”
God answered those prayers in surprising ways. Friends I’d been close to suddenly stopped talking to me—not because of conflict, but because the connection just faded. I realized later that God was protecting me from relationships that would have pulled me back into old patterns.
The Science Behind the Struggle (And the Solution)
Let me be honest: masturbation addiction isn’t just spiritual—it’s also neurological.
When you masturbate, your brain releases dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical. Over time, your brain craves that dopamine hit, creating a cycle where the behavior becomes compulsive. This is why excessive masturbation can become as addictive as drugs or alcohol.
Watching pornography makes this worse. Pornographic material floods your brain with dopamine at unnatural levels, rewiring your neural pathways to crave more intense stimulation. This is why people who struggle with pornography often find that their addiction escalates over time. What once satisfied them no longer does.
But here’s the good news: your brain can be rewired.
Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to form new neural connections—means that change is possible. When you replace compulsive sexual behavior with healthier coping mechanisms and fill your mind with truth, you literally create new pathways in your brain.
This is what the Bible calls “renewing your mind.” It’s not just a spiritual concept—it’s supported by neuroscience.
Philippians 4:8 gives us the blueprint:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
You overcome addiction by replacing destructive thoughts with life-giving ones. You resist the urge to masturbate by flooding your mind with content that builds you up rather than tears you down.
Practical Steps to Overcome Masturbation
If you’re serious about breaking free, here are practical ways to regain control:
1. Identify your triggers
What situations may trigger the desire to masturbate? Boredom? Stress? Loneliness? Late nights alone with your phone?
Write down your triggers. Then create a plan for what you’ll do instead of masturbating when those situations arise.
2. Remove access to pornographic material
Delete apps that give you easy access to porn. Install accountability software on your devices. Put your phone in another room at night. Make it harder for temptation to find you.
3. Fill your mind daily with Scripture
Don’t just read—study. Get a notebook. Search for verses about purity, self-control, and freedom. Write them down. Memorize them. Repeat them when sexual thoughts come.
4. Change your environment
Stop watching shows and movies with explicit sexual content. Unfollow social media accounts that post provocative images. Surround yourself with content that builds you up.
5. Find accountability
You don’t have to share details of your struggle with everyone, but having at least one trusted friend, counselor, or mentor who knows what you’re battling can be life-changing. Consider joining support groups or seeking online therapy if you need professional help.
6. Stay busy with purpose
An idle mind is a playground for temptation. Fill your life with meaningful activities—serve at church, pursue hobbies, invest in friendships, work toward goals.
7. When you fall, get back up immediately
Relapse doesn’t mean failure. Don’t let shame keep you down. 1 John 1:9 promises:
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, compulsive masturbation is a symptom of a deeper issue—trauma, anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
If your sexual behavior causes distress, interferes with your daily activities, affects your life and relationships, or feels so overwhelming that you cannot stop despite your best efforts, it may be time to see a mental health professional.
A counselor who specializes in human sexuality and behavioral addictions can help you understand the underlying problem and develop treatment options tailored to your situation.
There’s no shame in seeking help. In fact, it’s a sign of strength and wisdom.
A Word to Parents
If you’re a parent reading this, please hear me: never underestimate your child.
I masturbated in the living room while my entire family was present, hidden under a blanket fort I’d made while “playing.” They had no idea.
Children are creative. They’re curious. And in today’s world, they have access to more explicit content by age 10 than previous generations saw in a lifetime.
Monitor what your children watch. Have age-appropriate conversations about sex from a biblical perspective. Teach them that their bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Create an environment where they can ask questions without fear of judgment.
Proverbs 22:6 promises:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Even if your child strays, the seeds you plant will eventually bear fruit. I’m living proof of that.
You’re Not Fighting Alone
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s me. I’ve tried everything and nothing works”—I understand.
I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless, to believe that freedom is for everyone except you.
But here’s the truth: 1 Corinthians 10:13 says,
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way of escape so that you can endure it.”
There is a way of escape. And it starts with surrender.
Stop trying to fight this battle in your own strength. Stop relying on self-control alone. Bring your struggle into the light. Ask God to deliver you. Fill your mind with His Word. Change your environment. Connect with others.
Freedom is possible. Not just temporary relief—lasting, sustainable freedom that transforms every area of your life.
You can overcome masturbation. I did. And if God did it for me, He’ll do it for you.
Conclusion
Your breakthrough might be one prayer away. One decision away. One surrendered moment away.
Don’t give up. God hasn’t given up on you.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” — 2 Corinthians 5:17
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Is masturbation always wrong?
A. While some argue that masturbation is a normal part of sexual expression, the Bible calls us to purity in thought and deed. When masturbation becomes compulsive, involves pornographic material, or replaces healthy marital intimacy, it becomes a problem that needs to be addressed.
Q. How long does it take to break the habit?
A. Everyone’s journey is different. For me, it took seven months to realize I was fully free. The key is consistency—daily renewal of your mind, intentional changes to your environment, and reliance on God’s strength.
Q: What if I keep relapsing?
A. Relapse is common, but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Each time you fall, get back up immediately. Confess it to God, learn from what triggered you, and adjust your strategy. Healthier coping mechanisms take time to develop.
Q. Should I see a therapist?
A. If your struggle with sexual behavior causes significant distress, affects your relationships, or feels beyond your control, seeing a mental health professional can be very helpful. Look for a counselor who respects your faith and has experience with compulsive sexual behavior disorder.
Q. Can I really be free if I’ve struggled for years?
A. Absolutely. I struggled for over a decade, and God set me free. No matter how long you’ve been addicted to masturbation, freedom is available. God specializes in breaking chains that seem impossible to break.
Q. What do I do when I feel lonely and the urge hits?
A. Loneliness is a common trigger. Instead of turning to masturbation, reach out to a friend, pray, go for a walk, or engage in an activity you enjoy. Over time, you’ll develop new neural pathways that respond to loneliness in healthier ways.
