Divorce. The word itself evokes feelings of grief, loss, shame, and defeat.
Over 50% of marriages in America end in divorce, leaving countless individuals and families wounded and broken in its wake.
For the Christian navigating this terrain, making sense of what the Bible says about divorce can feel confusing or even condemning at times.
However, when you examine Scripture closely, you’ll discover that the Bible’s teachings on divorce offer a message of redemption, healing, and hope amidst the pain.
Grounding ourselves in biblical truths equips us to walk through divorce in a way that brings restoration and new life on the other side.
Old Testament Teachings on Divorce
To comprehend what Jesus later teaches about divorce in the New Testament, we must first understand the cultural context surrounding marriage and divorce at that time.
In the Old Testament, provisions were made allowing men to divorce their wives if they found “something indecent” about them (Deuteronomy 24:1).
Though debated, this vague wording justified men to divorce their wives for reasons beyond sexual immorality.
While certainly permitted in the Law of Moses, passages like Malachi 2:16 (NIV) make clear God’s heart toward divorce:
“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. “So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
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God designed the covenant of marriage to reflect His unconditional love and commitment to His people.
Thus, reconciliation and redemption took precedence over hastily dissolving what God joined together.
Jesus Radically Redefines Divorce
Centuries later, the religious leaders tried to trap Jesus with questions about divorce.
Jesus boldly challenged status quo perspectives on marriage, re-centering the conversation around God’s original intent:
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV)
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Emphasizing the one flesh union, Jesus makes clear that God designed marriage for a life-long covenant partnership.
The Pharisees were not satisfied with this answer and asked:
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Matthew 19:7 (NIV)
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Jesus replied:
8 “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:8-9 (NIV)
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While certainly acknowledging the reality of divorce, Jesus compels couples to fight to preserve the sacred union, allowing divorce only in extreme cases involving sexual immorality.
Even then, He makes no requirement for divorce but graciously allows it given the fallen state of mankind.
Undergirding Jesus’ teachings rests a high view of marriage alongside the reality that we live in a broken world.
With compassion, truth, and hope, Jesus casts a vision where divorce operates as a concession, not an ideal, calling followers to prioritize redemption wherever possible.
Navigating Divorce According to the Bible
Given the complexities of divorce, many wrestling questions arise when considering it from a biblical perspective:
- Is divorce a sin? Scripture makes clear divorce falls significantly short of God’s standards. However, the Bible describes divorce as permitted, not inherently sinful in all cases.
- Can Christians get divorced? Yes—while not encouraged or expected, graceful allowances exist permitting divorce in certain situations.
- What are biblical grounds for divorce? Jesus named only one: sexual immorality. Abuse and abandonment also warrant separation or civil divorce.
- Can I remarry after divorce? Difficult questions around remarriage hinge on the interpretation of phrases like “bound” and “one flesh”. Christians disagree, so seek wise counsel from your spiritual leaders.
- Does God still love me if I’m divorced? Without question—while God hates divorce, He offers unconditional love to all. Nothing separates us from His relentless affection.
While questions linger, Scripture provides guardrails for those navigating divorce.
Most importantly, we discern God’s heart is for redemption and restoration in the wake of broken covenants.
Finding Hope and Healing After Divorce
Without minimizing the devastation of divorce, the Bible brims with hope for restoration after this trauma.
Healing begins as we release shame and embrace grace. Though divorce may represent personal failure, our mistakes, and shortcomings never negate God’s complete love for us.
“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.”
Isaiah 1:18 (NLT)
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Additionally, we must forgive ourselves and others. Harboring unforgiveness impedes healing.
As we forgive, we free ourselves to receive God’s redemption in the rubble of broken relationships.
Seeking Redemption Amidst Brokenness
Even in the ashes of divorce, God brings beauty from brokenness. As Christ’s followers, we anchor to God’s high view of marriage while extending grace when covenants crumble.
Though divorce falls devastatingly short of God’s best, the death of a marriage in no way resembles the end of His story.
As we lean into Him as our ultimate Comforter and Redeemer, we discover endless hope for restoration after loss.
Truly, where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more.
Key Takeaways:
- God designed marriage to reflect His unconditional commitment to His people.
- Jesus permitted divorce only in extreme cases due to the fallen state of mankind.
- Scripture offers guidance for navigating divorce with wisdom and grace.
- Healing after divorce begins by releasing shame and embracing God’s grace.
- God redeems brokenness, bringing hope and restoration amidst devastation.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q. Is divorce a sin according to the Bible?
A. Divorce falls short of God’s standards but is not inherently sinful in all cases. Scripture describes divorce as permitted, not required.
Q. What are legitimate biblical grounds for divorce?
A. Jesus named only one: sexual immorality. Abuse and abandonment also warrant separation or civil divorce.
Q. Can I remarry after getting divorced?
A. Interpretations differ on remarriage after divorce. Seek counsel from spiritual leaders regarding your specific situation.
Q. Does God still love me even though I’m divorced?
A. Absolutely. While God hates divorce, His love and acceptance of us remain uncompromising. Nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39 NIV).
Q. Where can I find help and support after my divorce?
A. Seek support from pastors, Christian counselors, divorce recovery groups, and others walking this journey.
