Video courtesy of THE BEAT by Allen Parr

Do you want to become the husband God has called you to be? Would you like practical guidance on loving your wife the way Christ loved the church?

You’ve come to the right place! In this article, I’ll share biblical truths and real-life tips to help you strengthen your marriage and grow closer to God as a couple.

My goal is to provide Christ-centered advice to equip you to lead your home with humility, selflessness, and grace.

Whether you feel inadequate or just need fresh inspiration, let God transform you into the godly husband He designed you to be!

So buckle up as we explore what Scripture says about being a spiritual leader your wife can respect, admire, and feel blessed to follow.

Why Should Husbands Aspire to Godly Leadership?

A Godly Husband

In Ephesians 5:25 (NIV), Paul instructs,

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

He calls husbands to follow Jesus’ model of servant leadership, sacrificial love, and gentle strength.

But why does biblical headship rest more heavily on the husband’s shoulders?

As Peter explains, wives are “weaker vessels” not due to inferiority but rather because God created woman to be man’s “completer” (Genesis 2:18). Since the fall, her fine-tuned sensitivities easily injure when handled roughly.

Her intricate design deserves tender understanding, which only the Holy Spirit can provide. That’s why Scripture places the onus on husbands to treat their brides with Christlike care.

The Proverbs 31 woman blossoms under the umbrella of her husband and lover (Ephesians 5:28).

Like Christ, you must shelter your wife from harm and nurture confidence in her gifts by pouring selfless love and guidance into her.

This pleases God immensely! As you esteem her above self-interest, your prayers flow unhindered (1 Peter 3:7).

Daily seek God’s wisdom to appreciate her support while spearheading your family toward spiritual prosperity.

9 Ways to Lead Your Wife Like Jesus Led The Church

Ways To Lead Your Wife

Men, grasp this vital call to lay down kingly privilege and embrace the biblical mandate of the servant-leader.

Here are practical principles gleaned from Jesus’ flawless example that help us reboot, restore, and re-center our marriages around godly values.

1. Lead With Love

Make a habit of inserting mental bookmarks whenever you read about God’s unconditional love.

How does the Lord forgive, pursue, romance, and cherish His Bride despite ups and downs?

The Word richly illustrates moving examples of Jesus wooing His wandering beloved back to intimacy.

“The Lord your God is with you; the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

As new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), we can love like this extravagantly!

Pray for a fresh revelation of your wife’s inherent worth as God’s priceless daughter. Channel love freely by speaking her love language whether or not she reciprocates perfectly all the time.

When friction arises, recall how Jesus engineered the ultimate bridge to reconciliation through the cross then gently guide your wife back to oneness (Colossians 1:19-20 ESV).

19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.”

2. Esteem Her as an Heir of Grace

Is your wife flourishing in her gifts? As her husband, cheer her toward the finish line. Help her set God-sized goals and celebrate each milestone.

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)

Remind her (and yourself) regularly that you are joint heirs of God’s promises (Romans 8:17).

Pull these precious truths into your conversations and watch them unlock courage and tenacity!

3. Cover Her in Prayer

Pray For Your Wife

Do you pray detailed prayers over your beloved? Jesus spends His days interceding tenderly for His Bride before the Throne (Hebrews 7:25). Follow His example!

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…”

Ephesians 3:16-18 (NIV)

Plead for fresh infillings of the Spirit’s fruit in your wife’s life.

Ask God to broaden her capacity to receive grace (2 Corinthians 9:8), deepen her spiritual soil, ignite a passion for the Word, deliver redemptive insights as she ponders Scripture, and unlock open doors for her gifts to flourish.

4. Feed Her Soul

Initiate and engage in spiritual conversation. Make it normal to chat often about what God is teaching you lately through His Word, dreams, promptings, and even everyday conversations.

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”

Colossians 3:16 (NIV)

Plan regular time alone to discuss faith topics. Share back-and-forth about biblical role models, how God convicted or comforted you this week, favorite worship lyrics, and ways to keep Christ the heartbeat of your home.

Set the temperature! Fan the flames by voicing your own soul discoveries.

5. Protect Her

Protect Your Wife

The world is loud with messages that entice your wife’s heart away from purity. Set up filters to screen worldly advice and highlight gospel truth instead.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Counter the cultural chaos by holding your wife close when anxiety starts to eclipse her peace. Remind her (and yourself) Who you belong to.

Pray Scripture aloud together. Exchange grace, not accusations. Practice thinking lovely thoughts about each other. God’s peace will rise!

6. Point Her To Jesus

In moments of uncertainty or fear, point your wife to Christ. Urge her affectionately to train her eyes on Jesus above the circumstances below.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:2

Rehearse stories highlighting God’s faithfulness in past seasons of hardship or temptation.

The Lord who walked with you through valleys before will accompany you this time too. Allow tribulation to stir deeper dependence as you cling to Him alone.

7. Bear Her Burdens

Your wife wants a listening ear, not necessarily solutions. So put down the “fixer” badge.

Prepare instead to climb beside her in the trenches after hard days. Offer your shoulder without the need to correct or minimize her feelings.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2 (NIV)

Develop consistent curiosity about her inner world. Get comfortable with mystery, paradox, and not having answers.

Learn to weep with her. Help carry loads by delegating tasks or planning fun getaways. Pray fervently when she simply needs to “be still” for a while.

8. Esteem Her Awesome Differences

Esteem Her Awesome Differences

A woman’s intuitive way of processing life can mystify you. Don’t expect her to react like one of the guys or necessarily enjoy the same activities you do.

God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), so celebrate the unique aspects of her femininity!

Balance gives wise input while leaving room for the special grace deposited in her to flourish. You don’t have to understand how she ticks to admire her for it!

9. Fight FOR Her, Not WITH Her

Every couple deals with conflict. The healthiest plan of action? Refuse to be your wife’s adversary even when disagreements get heated.

2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV)

As Jesus’ ambassador, absorb fury if needed and avoid retaliation. Listen beyond anger to decipher underlying wounds you may unintentionally aggravate as her husband. Value her perspective without caving to sinful demands.

Major on extending mercy and believing the best as you steer conflicts back to mutual understanding. Let laughter and prayer reset tense moments. Practice the “two become one” mystery!

Key Takeaways on Being a Godly Husband:

Characteristics Of A Godly Husband
  • Study how Jesus loves, forgives, serves, and sacrificed Himself for the Church. Follow His model.
  • Esteem your wife highly, knowing God fashioned her to complete you and bear holy fruit as your partner in destiny.
  • Intercede consistently for your wife to encounter fresh grace, purpose, and spiritual awakening.
  • Make God’s Word the compass for all decisions, conflict resolution, intimacy, and vision setting as a couple.
  • Initiate ongoing faith conversations and prayer times together to nurture oneness and transparency.
  • Stand in the gap shielding your wife from toxic influences attempting to sway her devotion from God.
  • Redirect each other Godward whenever adversity strikes or uncertainty breeds fear of the unknown.
  • Bear one another’s burdens. Weep with her when necessary or help lighten loads through practical help.
  • Protect marital unity like a priceless treasure, extending lavish mercy during disagreements.

May God inspire you to love, lead, and cherish your wife with the same relentless affection Jesus continually showers on His Bride, the Church!

Frequently Asked Questions on Being a Godly Husband

Q. How can I earn my wife’s respect as a godly leader?

A. The most effective way is by following the self-sacrificing example of Christ. Esteem your wife highly in both speech and action.

Go out of your way to show how much you love meeting her needs and helping her dreams flourish.

Ask God to reveal blind spots where selfishness erodes your example. Let Him transform you into His agape-loving image in those areas.

Q. What if my unbelieving wife refuses to “submit”?

A. Wives whose husbands lead forcefully or hypocritically often resist submitting. But as you grow in grace-based servant leadership that mirrors Jesus, her heart will melt eventually.

Keep your eyes fixed on the Savior, not your spouse’s flaws. Avoid retaliation when she seems controlling. Instead patiently sow seeds of hope through small acts of affection. And PRAY!

Miracles happen through fervent prayer!

Q. How can I regain trust after repeated forgiveness for infidelity or addiction issues?

A. Repent thoroughly before God. Then woo her heart back through humility and service. Commit to boundaries that prevent relapse such as accountability partners, counseling, removing temptations, etc.

Understand complete restoration takes years, not days. Verbal apologies mean little without changing behavior. As she observes genuine life transformation happening due to God’s grace, her heart will soften. Fill her love tank often.

When she speaks about pain, listen without defense. Give her time and space to process hurt without pressure. Seek the Lord for strategy and timing in all things.

Q. How do I avoid being a passive or dominant leader?

A. Study Jesus. He directed His disciples gently while provoking GREATNESS in them. They ended up turning the world upside down (Acts 17:6)!

If your wife feels stifled or neglected, prayerfully evaluate where adjustments need to occur. Lead by serving and cheering her onward.

Include her in major vision decisions as a valued partner while taking ultimate responsibility for direction.

If she wants to steer persistently down unwise paths, lovingly stand your ground while asking God for wisdom.

I hope these tips shed fresh light on honoring your wife as unto the Lord! Please reach out with any other questions. I’m happy to help in any way I can.

May God richly bless your marriage as you grow closer to Him together!

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